The Ballad of Johnny Cage
If good looks was a minute/ You know that you could've been an hour- Smokey Robinson, 'The Way You Do The Things You Do'
Sometimes life imitates art. Other times, life imitates video game plots. (Yes, those are the only two scenarios, so just accept it and move on) Anyone who had a Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis in the 1990’s is no doubt familiar with the Mortal Kombat franchise and its role in popular culture. The “Bloody Flagship” of violent video games, MK was essentially a trans-dimensional tournament in which the best fighters from various “realms” were selected to do battle. It featured robotic ninjas, skeleton-faced assassins, lizard people, evil centaurs, evil-er cyborg chicks, Chinese Thunder Gods in coolie hats, and even some regular fighters from Earth. One of the original “regular” fighters was a hot shot named: Johnny Cage.
Even though he was the star of such commercial hits as Ninja Mime and The Gist of My Fist, (sigh…those are actual film credits on his resume) Cage was often maligned by critics as being a mere “stuntman” who relied on wires and trick photography rather than his years of martial art study. His sole reason for participating in MK was to prove his critics wrong, which was no easy task considering that it was a SECRET tournament that 99.9% of the world had never heard of. Liu Kang was there to avenge his sensei’s murder. Sonya Blade was there to track down a dangerous criminal. Shang Tsung was there to steal souls. Rayden was there to save earth from destruction. Johnny Cage was there to get his long overdue “props.” Makes sense…..
Sphere: Related Content“And With The Second Pick In The First Round, The New York Jets Take…”
Ken O’Brien!”
Absolute hilarious collection of clips if you’re a fan of watching Jersey trash with Ditka moustaches groan. Seriously, seriously funny.
Yes, I’m watching this again. 
MJ- Kenny Rogers Roasted
Before he was defaced, Kenny Rogers faces St, Michael. This clip is so close to Mr. Furious’ childhood fantasies, it’s uncanny. All it’s missing is Michael Jackson moonwalking down the court.
“Mr. Peepers…?!”
[Completely random Seinfeld reference + 5]
“Mario, Is There Racing in Heaven?”
Fantastic!
I once hallucinated this exact movie after about 36 straight hours and three missed classes worth of Mario Kart playing. Of course, my dream ended up with DK and Daisy on the winner’s platform and DK giving Daisy his…
[rest of hallucination redacted for taste. ed.]
That was weird.
Bobby McPherrin Gets Pentatonic On Your Ass
World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.
Bobby McPherrin has always been a favorite of ours here at Shambollocks!. Here he treats some scientists to some kick-ass audience participation.
You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round
I do the same thing. Except with my remote.
It is appropriate that our Chicago White Sox face ageless knuckleballer Tim Wakefield this evening in Boston. Like Wakefield’s clueless pitches, my hopes for and frustrations with our home nine have darted this way and that over the course of the last 126 games. If you asked at the beginning of the season where I thought we’d be at this point, I’d say .500. And here we are.
So why am I disappointed?
Sphere: Related ContentYou Are About to Enter…The Halftime Tunnel!
Bolivian soccer. Two man enter. One man leave.
Ziggy Played Guitar
The school year is around the corner. Hundreds of thousands of kids wil begin high school over the next two weeks. They will walk gingerly through the giant hallways, hands on bookbag straps, eyes like saucers. A more frightened and awkward group of humans you will rarely see. I’d love to give all these freshmen a copy of Ziggy Stardust when they enter school. Bowie never gets much credit for being much of an open-hearted romantic, but Ziggy was always a very good friend. The story of an alien on earth rings true to aliens in their own bodies.
God, I’m so glad I never have to be a teenager again.
You try it. You like it. You buy it.
A Live One- The Cure Cleveland Music Hall ‘85
This look may not be fit now, but just wait twenty years.
Cleveland Music Hall 85 by The Cure in 320 mp3s
The Cure embarked on The Head on the Door tour in 1985 with a No. 7 album in the UK and a No. 59 one here in the States. They first came to America a year before, and meant to conquer the American market with this tour. ‘In Between Days’ broke the Top 100 here barely, hitting 99. The No. 1 single in America the week ending on October 19, 1985 was a-Ha’s ‘Take On Me’, which just bumped Dire Strait’s ‘Money for Nothing’ from its four week perch. There is nothing in the rest of the Top 10 which would leave anyone to believe the Cure would have any more success than they had the year before. Sphere: Related Content
This Segment Brought To You By Our Friends At PETA
I don’t like to see animals hurt, but…I would pay to see this live.
O'Hare Arpt., IL
