Photo…..Photo…..PHOTOSHOP!!! HO!!!
If good looks was a minute/ You know that you could've been an hour- Smokey Robinson, 'The Way You Do The Things You Do'
Anybody who considers themselves to be a ‘Child of the 80’s’ has no doubt noticed the trend of their cherished after-school cartoons appearing on the big screen. Considering that they’ve already made movies out of video games (Mortal Kombat, Mario Brothers), Disneyland rides (Pirates of the Carribean, Haunted Mansion) and Pauley Shore screenplays (Son-in-Law, Encino Man), films based on cartoons, based on toys would seem like a logical next step. First was 2007’s Transformers, followed by this summer’s sequel, Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and finally GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra which will be released tomorrow. When I heard that Hollywood was making GI JOE, I said to myself, “What’s next?…a Thundercats movie?” Apparently, somebody beat me to the punch. The following is a “Fan-Made trailer for a Thundercats movie that has does not exist:
PIRATE UPDATE!!!! They’ve Reached Our Shores!!!
Learn it. Know it. Plunder it.
I hate being the bearer of bad news, but apparently the “Pirate Issue” has escalated. According to this file photo, they’ve traded their bass boats and RPGs in for a light blue 1960 Buick LeSabre and pots of scalding coffee. Don’t let the goofy smile fool you, this brigand has a flash temper and will turn on you at the drop of a skull n’ bones hat. He has absolutely no tolerance for surly burger customers and poorly secured pool houses. If you must approach, please F***ing knock!!! Jeez… 
Pirates Attack US!! ARRRRRRGH You F***ing Kidding Me?
Last Friday, Captain Richard Phillips of the MV Maersk returned to his family. If you will recall, Phillips was taken captive by Somali pirates a little more than two weeks ago. A Navy SEALs’ nighttime raid rescued him Hollywood-style from his captors. While there is nothing cooler than hearing about a couple of punks getting their just desserts, I am APPALLED that this got that far.
Am I the only one who can’t believe the balls of these guys?!! The Johnny Depp movies aside, piracy is terribly out-dated. It worked in the 1600s because it preceded inventions like radar, GPS, and motorized engines. Their entire industry was based on raiding ships and then “disappearing” before anybody could track them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it was a ‘sweet science’ in its heyday, but now it is just high-seas car-jacking. I don’t care how well local fisherman-turned-criminals know these waters, they are just kidding themselves if they think that they’re getting away with anything. The US wouldn’t even have cared had they not kidnapped an American ship captain. So…3 bullets and 3 dead morons later, the Somali Pirates are vowing “revenge” on all US ships from here on out. Ooooooohhhhh!! That sounds pretty serious!! It might take a WHOLE clip to put these ruffians down.
Sphere: Related ContentThe Big Chart
Give yourself twenty minutes, and enjoy The Big Chart- a short film about an NCAA tournament to decide the best ‘thing’. It is both funny and thought-provoking in a totally meaningless way- kind of like the best after-hours conversation you’ve ever had.
Word Of The Day: Rickrolling
From Wikipedia:
Rickrolling is an Internet meme typically involving the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song “Never Gonna Give You Up“. The meme is a bait and switch: a person provides a Web link that he or she claims is relevant to the topic at hand, but the link actually takes the user to the Astley video. The URL can be masked or obfuscated in some manner so that the user cannot determine the true source of the link without clicking. When a person clicks on the link and is led to the web page, he or she is said to have been “Rickrolled” (also spelled Rickroll’d). By extension, it can also mean playing the song loudly in public in order to be disruptive.The age of irony now reigns supreme over the internet. At first, this is a genuine funny prank. But then it gets co-opted into something much worse- an appreciation for an awful song which forgets why it was even started. By the time it hits network TV, it becomes such a Russian doll of a joke that you get exhausted trying to figure out why you’re supposed to laugh.
As a cultural commentator, I’m left feeling cheated. What is important? That Rick Astley is alive and well? That a nagging buzzterm can infiltrate the mainstream to erupt on the float for a children’s show on a traditional holiday platform?
I guess I just can’t believe that the folks from the Today show are more on the pulse of the moment than I am. If this is hip, though, I’m ready for Florida.
Again, harrumph.
Star Wars Storyboards
In my quest to post all neat Stars Wars-related net finds for my fellow geeks, here is a flickr slideshow with a host of original storyboards. Very cool stuff, and worth a momentary dork-out.
Elvis With Cuppa
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O'Hare Arpt., IL
