Making light of the boot is a bootable offense.

On the all-time sucky thing list, getting a parking ticket for your disabled vehicle has to rank fairly high. Not over having a bird shit on you (still hot at No. 1( and something that has happened to me personally three times, THREE- really, what are the odds of that?)), but well above stepping in dog poop (a common occurrence in dog rich-owner poor Evanston). I walked out to my car an hour ago to move it because I believed the street cleaning days were Wednesday-Thursday. Alas, no. So now I have two parking tickets and not even one working car. Maybe I should take a hint and give away the busted car? Yes, I should. It’s on the list, people. It’s a real list. On a chalkboard. Next to the front door.

- Housing prices continue to slump here in Evanston. Homes here are selling $200,000 less than last year. No, that wasn’t a misprint. $200,000 less. K and I need to start our home hunting pronto.

- Has yet to snow here today. Pretty much the same miserable weather as yesterday.

- While you were watching the classic Bulls game last night, our very own incumbent Urkel appeared on Chicago Tonight. He came to address the firing of a $60,000-a-year admin who has been arrested twice in the last six months. You need to watch this.

Best parts if you don’t want to watch- Todd Stroger stating that “I’m certain employees get arrrested all the time.” Great. I’m so glad our county taxes go toward an effective disciplinary system. He inserts race into the discussion every chance he gets, as if that gives him a poor management waiver. “Just because people look like me doesn’t mean that they’re from the eighth ward.” Righto, Todd. But answer the question. How come so many county hires come from the eighth ward? And the follow up- what does your hiring have to do with race? Hmm…And about his cousin, who resigned over this new employee flap- “She didn’t do anything wrong.” Then why did you have her resign, Todd? Oh, to answer your critics. So, in short, it is OK for county employees to spend their off-times committing crimes. Gotcha. I’ll make sure to remind my close friends who work for the county that it is now open season. No matter what their skin color.

Operation ‘Pants Urkel’ remains in effect. Time to go, Todd.

- Obama released the CIA memoes related to the Bushies’ use of torture. Now the next step is to form a truth committee and lay open all the papers and names related to this mess. If this causes some CIA personnel to lose their jobs, oh well. I don’t want to see trials for those involved in the torture scandal. All that will do is inflict more wounds to our dignity. But we citizens deserve the truth. We need to know how a few individuals hijacked our country and sold our most basic beliefs down to river in the name of short-term political gains. Names. And deeds. After all of this information is released, than we can go through the courts to make sure the guilty individuals who hold law degrees are disbarred. Only after that can we say that the past is truly behind us. Without an investigation, we will provide an awful example for every developing country. Do the right thing, Barack.

I don’t know who the actor behind this sketch is, but Lorne Michaels should make every effort to sign him up to be Boy Blunder for the next few years. Genius!

More humor for my beleaguered fellow Cook County citizens- a Cook County Board President Steve Urkle fundraising memo entitled ‘Todd Stroger: A New Generation of Leadership‘. Best part:

Recently, Todd and the Cook County Board made some tough choices. The global economic crisis has had a major impact on every community in our nation — and Cook County is no exception. The decision to increase the sales tax one penny on a dollar — and exclude groceries, medicines and other essential goods from that increase — during this time was a necessary step to tackle the County’s chronic structural budget deficit and protect vital county services. These are the sorts of challenges that inspire Todd to keep fighting on behalf of taxpayers. But he is going to need your help to continue the work.

John Stroger strongly believed that “A voteless people is a hopeless people.” His son Todd needs your help to fight political opportunism, preserve vital services and continue his father’s legacy of service for all residents. Please support Todd by contributing to “A New Generation of Leadership.”

Sincerely,

Roger Mosley
Finance Director
Friends of Todd H. Stroger

rmosley@strogerforpresident.com
www.strogerforpresident.com

‘Voteless’, huh? Weren’t we all voteless after his father died and in stepped Urkel? Hey, Todd, I have hope. I have a lot of hope we’ll get your useless ass voted out of office.